The Great StarCraft Post

As promised, the Great StarCraft Post has arrived.

The first thing I want to get out of the way is the fact that I am a huge fan of StarCraft.

How huge of a fan am I?

Exactly this huge.

I grew up with StarCraft; I played the original, and then I played Brood War. When I first started playing, I didn't even touch the multiplayer (that may or may not have anything to do with playing a pirated copy). I was a hardcore singleplayer, campaigner. By which I meant I would give myself massive amounts of money with cheats and then build an empire spanning the map.

It was a time in my life where winning in StarCraft actually made me feel bad because I would lose my entire empire. (I had many saved empires though, so it was OK).

WAS SO MUCH FUN. I PLAYED ALL DAY YO.

I only switched over to multiplayer when I entered high school, where Westdale's robust lunch hour StarCraft community provided the necessary stream of opponents for me to be able to enjoy all the great aspects of multiplayer like pwning nubs, but without the lesser aspects such as getting pwnd by Koreans.

For those of you that are still confused as to what StarCraft is right now, lemme explain to you (nubs).
StarCraft is a real time strategy game that pits three fictional races against one another. These three races are:

The race with the purity of form (Protoss)
The race with the purity of essence (Zerg)
The race with the purity of tanks (Terran)

Each of these races suck, at least that's what I've been lead to believe judging by how often players of each race call other races over powered.

While I did play the campaign a lot when I was younger, it is only after I started playing multiplayer that I realized how much more fun multiplayer is than the campaign.

Enjoying multiplayer in StarCraft is a very delicate process however. The most important rule that you need to remember when playing StarCraft online is to avoid Koreans; some signs that you are playing against a Korean is if your opponent:

• is typing things like this: 동성애 많은 성기 한테 놀림 당하고 during the game
• is producing hax amounts of units
• is in your base, raping everything you have
• has the entire map under his (girls don't play StarCraft) control 5 minutes into the game
• is playing against you at 5am and starts to talk about lunch

Of course, the easiest way to avoid Koreans is to play LAN with friends. For those of us still in high school, this is just a matter of walking around school at lunch and poking your head into all the computer rooms until you find your local chapter of the Lunch Hour Starcraft Club.

If your out of school though, you either have to get some friends and have a LAN party, or go online and risk getting raped by Koreans. 

Or you could not play StarCraft, but then this post really wasn't for you anyway (hint: scroll down, there's some make-up blogs from like two days ago that you'll probably enjoy).

For you true gamers out there, once you get all the player you need you can then proceed to have the most epic times of your life.

BEST GAME EVER. SO MUCH FUN. GO PLAY NOW

-tis Tommy