Shenanigans #3

This Friday was supposed to be another Text Twist session of awesomeness.

But alas, of the three plug-in stations, two were each occupied by lone (slightly creepy) old dudes on laptops, and the last was occupied by a family of Asians. (MacDonald's why u no have more plugs?)

Lacking the necessary tools for old people neutralization and lacking the necessary brute force for removing an Asian family, there was no choice but to abandon the word fiesta .

Next was a short stop to the local electronic emporium to ascertain the status of a friend's laptop in repair.

The store informed my friend it would be another week before it was fixed. Of course, that also happened to be the same thing the store said 7 months ago. 

I was pretty sure the store owner's have already sold his laptop for great profit, mostly to the Asian family from earlier, but I felt it would've been rude to say at the time, so instead he can learn this over the internet. 

I then bought another USB drive for convenient data transfer, having lost my old one about a week ago. My friend also bought a USB but it was fat, long, and looked pretty damn ugly, but it was cheaper by a dollar. Since the two of us are Asians, I guess he wins. This time.

Like my friend's, the warranty on my USB lasts for a couple years; I'll most definitely lose it within the month, which I've been told voids the warranty. That's seriously bogus shit, if I lose my USB during the warranty due to my own stupidity, I should be able to get another one for free goddamnit; I'd probably have argued that better if I actually read the terms of the warranty, but who am I kidding, when I lose this USB I'll just buy another, like I did the last two times.

All this constant misplacement of my USB have caused me to seriously consider whether it may be cheaper to just rent one. Although honestly what moron would rent a USB? The rental fee would probably be on par with the cost of one, seeing as I doubt anyone renting out USB's actually expects people to not lose them.

For every advance in technology, people will find away to turn it into an annoyance.

We drop by at the grocery store nearby, because somebody thought there was an electronic section in there.

There was not.

It was not an entirely wasted trip, since I did learn that Canadian grocery stores have adopted an interesting new category to cookies:

Curry Oreos? General Tso Chips Ahoy? Poutine?

You might think this is Canada saying Canadian cookies are real cookies, and everyone else is just making some ethnic rip off, but I see it was Canadian cookies too ashamed to call themselves Canadian cookies, opting instead to be known as nomadic nationless cookies.

This is what happens when you vote a conservative majority Canada, cookies abandon you.

That's right kids, you heard it here first, Cookies vote NDP.

Interestingly enough, the next aisle over also had Pasta and Ethnic Pasta, but nobody gives a shit about pasta so we're just going to move on.

As much fun as it was dissecting the deep meanings of grocery store aisle signs, my friends were going to think I've gone completely insane if I kept staring at that sign.

Couple hours left to burn till the gym opened, and the library was too far to go book a piano now.

So we played some basketball outside, where random outbursts from our group resulted in a very awkward stare from some woman's small child. They left immediately, the child was most likely scarred for life, and the mother possibly lost all hope in our generation. Your welcome everyone.

The gym times are now sectioned into two periods, the first exclusively for badminton, the second for basketball. The reason for this is because of elitist fucks. Not because the badminton people were bitching about the basket-ballers jumping all up in their personal space, nor was it because the basketball people were disappoint at nets covering half the goddamn gym. No, it is without a doubt the work of elitist fucks that have lead to this segregation of badminton and basketball.

They simply fear the awesomeness that would result from basketball being played with a shuttlecock and badminton being played with a basketball.

Okay maybe basketball with a shuttlecock would be kind of fail, but badminton with a basketball would be pretty boss. 

All those racket replacements would also be good for the economy. It just may save the goddamn world.

But it will never happen. Why? Elitist fucks thats why.

-tis Tommy