My driving instructor is hilarious

I was attending driving school in preparation for becoming a dangerous road hazard last week (to my insurance company: that was a joke, I am very safe and competent driver, please don't cite this and make my insurance cost over $9000 a month).

Anyway, my instructor told me a joke, and I am compelled to share.

Here goes.

So three guys die horrifically in a car crash.

The end.

No, I'm just kidding.

They actually go to heaven. Hey wait, come back you atheists, it's a joke goddamnit!

Okay, back to the joke.

So they are in heaven, and they meet God.

Now, everyone knows in heaven everything is free. You go to store, whatever you want. Free. Sounds just like...um...well heaven.

So God tells the three dudes that he's going to give them each a car to drive around heaven in. Because clearly only Fast and Furious types manage to get in heaven, and all of those dumbasses want to for the rest of eternity is to drift around heaven in a sweet ride.

God takes the first guy aside, and he asks him

"Have you ever cheated on your wife?"

Because God hates cheaters.

So the guy, being an honest shitty guy responds "I'm truly sorry God, but I admit to cheating on my wife. Twice"

So God tells the guy "That's a pretty shitty thing to do, but you did make it to heaven for a reason, and you were honest about it; I won't give you a car, but here's a motorcycle. Now get the fuck out of my face you disgusting piece of turd."

Second guy.

Same question.

This guy, slightly better, only cheated once.

God says "you're half the piece of disgusting turd as the last one, so...take this Ford Lincoln and get out of my sight"

My teacher was feeling Ford that day, don't ask me why.

Third guy comes up.

Same question once more.

This guy says "God, my wife died a year ago, I loved her so much and never cheated on her and I've just been thinking about her since."

To this, God is very touched and he says "You're a really good guy, and for that you know what, I'm going to give you a Ford Mustang. Take it and drive it wherever you want. Enjoy eternity."

So the three guys depart into heaven, and God goes and...um...smites some motherfuckers I guess.

Couple weeks later, the three guys meet up with each other in a store, and the two cheaters notice that the guy with the Mustang looks really depressed.

They ask him "Hey man, you got a Mustang and you're literally in heaven, what's got you so down?"

The guy tells them "The other day I was driving around and I say my dead wife."

"She was riding a bike."

-tis Tommy